Return to Eden

Return to Eden

Thoughts from the Bike Ride Portsmouth

Why is woman at her most beautiful when carrying the next generation?

Because that is the one thing she can do which man will never emulate, violate or take away. I appreciate this more than any other male.

I was so humbled and privileged to share most of the Portsmouth ride with Amybelle, beautiful, intelligent, charismatic and 5 months pregnant, but hell-bent on fighting to provide a safe planet for "HimHer". That's what we came to call the impending arrival during the Ride, as AmyB refuses to find the baby's gender, because ....why should it matter?

I could not let her ride alone, just in case something were to compromise the most important thing in life! But AmyB is stronger than me, because she has the female gift of eternity.

It is likely I shall never see her again. But maybe she, I and all our friends riding the World Naked Bike Ride have made the nursery a little safer and more homely in the Fall for Amybelle and little HimHer.

Hugz, Will.

The disunited colours of naturism

I have always said naturism is the only all-accepting community in modern society, where they don't judge on stereotypes and body-elitism. 

Well, it was a naive statement, probably written for my own eyes to read, almost as if to convince myself of the unbelievable discovery. 

Yes, it is true that more naturists as a percentage of the whole are accepting, but in truth the main bulk are as bigoted, xenophobic and bullying as mainstream society, in many cases moreso. Club naturism is cliquey, sexist, discriminatory and hateful and just uses oddballs like me to inflate its "accepting" reputation until spitting us out when we become old hat.
But it all went wrong years ago. I will not engage in details fully here as divulgence may just endanger my life.

I have, though, spent much of the past few years helping authorities, mainly bodies affiliated with the Police, in safeguarding people on the internet. I am instrumental in one imprisonment and another current major investigation for sexual offenses. Besides that I may be responsible for dozens of other acts of justice not reported back to me. It seems I am good at it. I have cleaned up and closed down several naturist sites for sexual abuse (most noticeably NudistSpace for several months). 

Some people donate to the World Wildlife Fund, so maybe this is my contribution to God's planet.

Sadly I got caught up in establishment corruption, where I, quite unknowingly at the time, exposed an illegal crime ring that was associated with authority. I have been stalked ever since, stopped by police at random 168 times in 8 years and set up with a bogus criminal record. 

It has not, until now, affected me unduly. After all my injustice is nothing compared to poor Sam Hallam, who lost his father to suicide due to his wrongful imprisonment on based on malicious lies from the forses of law and order. Shit happens! There are tens of thousands of victims of injustice.  It is one of the pitfalls of the terrain.  So I just avoided fighting establishment tyranny, which could be life-threatening .......and got on with my life. 

All was well until I received several reliable, matching accounts from responsible people that one of the thousands of bullying, bigoted, sociopaths hiding from society in naturist cul-de-sacs has engaged on a witch hunt and campaign of slander against me, on the internet and in live gossip with people she hardly knows if at all, that is driving me out of the lifestyle.   

It even happened at the start of the World Naked Bike Ride, an environmental event to which I sacrificed myself fully for the benefit of others. She gatecrashed my home turf, like a burglar making accusations against the homeowner of the house he is abusing. It is psychological rape!  

Just picture a megalomaniac who works hard to establish herself in a manageable small cult just to inflate her ego and tramples on anyone in her path, particularly those who don't fit into any of her narrow-minded pigeonholes. 

Yes, of course she is unpopular, but she is immovable. It is impossible to fight his abuser as she is an honorary officer in one of naturism's leading organizations. She carries weight, in more ways than one! 

The irony is that, when this individual was under flak on forums simply for being herself, I was the one who defended her. Why? Because I know she is a sufferer of ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis) and, having suffered that myself, I am aware how aggressive and irrational it can make people. So I sympathised, naively believing there was a decent person under the monstrous exterior. This made me a minority of one. I misjudged her; I was wrong! 

Now, as a gesture of gratitude to her only protector, she has decided she would be best glorified by spreading slanderous stories about me going around photographing naked children. Outrageous! Has anyone ever seen a photo of a naked child from me?  As many of my friends have opined, there are no facilities where her false accusations could be carried out. Cameras are not permitted in naturist locations; rightly so! 

Moreover I am incapable of originated sexual precepts her perverse mindset has defied biology.  

So it is all lies of course.

Where did her slanderous fantasies start?

Firstly, I have reliable reports that a certain Dennis went to naturist clubs alleging that I had been convicted of flashing at schoolgirls. As my good friends say, "Ridiculous, what have you got to flash?" Well, it is taunting from a safe distance. Besides that .....why would a naturist flash, when he effectively does that for a lifestyle? 

But the point is that one of those clubs was where this monster prowls, narcissistically and falsely claiming she runs the club, to the distaste of the club patrons. This Dennis gave the oppressor fuel for her cannons.

Could a perverse mind could have fantasized it from my record? Possibly; but she could only obtain that record illegally. I assume she is too clever for that. 

Therefore the slander is just idle fantasy manufactured from rumours. A hate campaign from a pathological hater! 

Alas, slander is not a CRIMINAL offence. I cannot afford a civil action.  I will of course sue her to the limit of her assets when I am able to afford it. But I am still in the fallout from putting my nephew through university.  

So I am guilty of having no money!  

The upshot is she has complained to that organization where she lurks like a black widow spider.  Incorrectly, they have suspended me ....on heresay ...on a rumour!  Clearly ethics do not exist in naturist officialdom. Regardless, being ostracised from that organization has effectively ended my life as a worthwhile existence. 

Naturism is all I have! 

I must give credit that certain people within that organization, officials, are going out of their way to help me get out of this problem none of which is of my own making .....probably because they know me. But as I said above, they are a minority. Even if they do clear this up, I can never join this organization again on principle. I can never forgive a club or organization that would tolerate such an abuser of human rights, let along endorse and house her as a kind of false prophet. And she is only one of hundreds, maybe thousands, of naked neo-nazis there. 

The trouble with having a free society, with freedom of speech, is that it gives full power to extremists.... which is why we have terrorism, the British National Party and this .......naturism's honorary life human rights-abusing tyrant.  

I do still have my good friends who know everything about me and trust me ........because they know me. .....and because they are intelligent, capable of judgment. So I can still enjoy certain naturist or naked events, such as country walks and the World Naked Bike Ride. 

But I will probably (have no choice but to) disappear from mainstream naturism, where I suddenly feel like the only Jewish man in a Nazi community. 

So, I am back in the attic, ostracised from society because I am different, nominally because I stood up for, defended and protected minorities and those unable to protect themselves. 
  • I can hardly go out into a society that used to beat me up when they saw me undress in a leisure centre changing room.
  • I can hardly go back to a society of perverts who cannot see nudity without thinking of sex, hence they will not allow me to be my natural, naturist self.
  • I can hardly go back into a society built on sexual obsessive compulsive disorder, where every activity, song, fashion renders me hormonally and psychologically incapable of adaptation or contribution. 
Which, by de minimis, leaves me with....... NOTHING!     

So what is the point carrying on?  

I am indeed Edward Scissorhands!

archive entry: 20th January 2012

Young skin captures the small-screen lens! The future is today!!
Britain's young naturists go to da House..... The Sequel! 

Britain's young naturists go to da House

Well, it happened..... Thursday 12th january, 10pm, Channel 4! My Daughter, the Teenage Nudist. 

Watch the video >>>>>

My Daughter, the Teenage Nudist

I hope any questions Daryl is the guy to drive BN forward newblood-first have been answered.

Last night he, Mollie, Alex and everyone involved were like a truckload of Relentless poured down the throats of our parched, fatigued lifestyle.


scuba diving in menorca

archive entry: 4th September 2011

Naturism dances2 a whole new tune @Abbey House Gardens!
Britain's young naturists go to da House!

Britain's young naturists go to da House

September 4th, 2001 was an awesome day, true?  
The sun shone on the righteous, lol, for the swan song of this naturist summer at Naturist Heaven .......a.k.a. Abbey House Gardens.   

A swan song for the weather, yes!   

But for naturism and its future, it was an epic, resonant overture.  

It started with a question…. is naturism just another form of retirement home?  

Well, yes, actually, but not all from a negative standpoint. Kevin Porter very interestingly told me yesterday at the Gardens that, although he has always espoused nudism, he had only done so socially for the past few years. Of course he wished he had done it earlier and feels that that applies across the board.

So, have we always been this way? Would we have all loved to have “done the rounds” in our 20s and 30s, only for priorities to stand in the way, like security, a career, a family, a home, multifarious ancillary responsibilities, ego issues and what with strikes last Tuesday, Arsenal in the Cup and the state of the economy etc etc etc?

I think Kevin has a point and the obvious conclusion is that many naturists take up the lifestyle late because default of all the above leaves a vast hole in their lives to fill.

Another prime mover in the dearth of the teen and tweenie element in nudism is probably our obsessive society. Those age groups these days are pied-Pipered into a virtual reality world where you are your brand, or nothing. There are no "Lacoste boobs," no "Nike skin," so naturism is antipathetic to the younger generations’ lifestyles. The Naturist Foundation has the right idea, allowing dressed teens among kids (who you can’t keep the clothes on) and older nudists (who are past caring) in a rather odd dressed crab sandwich called “clothes optional”.

But it is my understanding that too many clubs are far to strict on enforcing nudity; hence no younger members.

Another own-goal is the blanket discouragement of the “single male” as is he were some lascivious pseudo-rapist. Damn, I am a single male and the chance for me to do something untoward would be a miracle of biblical proportion.

The point I am making is the result of this “ban” and I am not sure if the clubs are being illogical or simply deviously clever. Like it or not, men and women are equal but they are not the same, and thank the Good Lord for that! I  love my fmale friends , but I would hate to think the highlight of an evening out would be to chat up the likes of Daryl, Steve A, Richard and Rick, LOL!

The background here is cultural usage. The parameters are: most older naturists are married; most younger nudists are single. Therefore, singles tend to be the younger element. Moving on, since I awoke into this firmament, it has been clear to me that, traditionally, the male leads socially and the female follows, like it or not. So….. if the single male is banned from “leading” then consequently there will be no “single female” to follow.

Ergo, the “retirement home” status quo is protected from disturbance by those noisy youngsters.

Misunderstanding or deliberate?

It does seem to me that the young brigade need to break away from the old school.

Hearteningly this trend was all too apparent at Naturist Heaven yesterday, when the Alexs, Daryls, Mollies of the world provided a new source of energy that can only bode well for our future.  Since a minor coup d'√©tat, Andrew has released himself from the CCBN shackles to say all the right things he always believed in; the Channel4 camera crew were both unobtrusive and positive. The keywords were tolerance and compromise. There has always been a “nude-or-nothing” caucus among the BN elders, which is not conducive to the naturist principles of tolerance and all-acceptance. Here it was clothes-optional, which is surely the democratic way, in the literal (consensual) sense of democracy.

The new drive is focusing now through the universities, where it will be met with newly-liberated, educated, inquiring minds. It has always been a tradition, even in my university days, that young social events and activities were started by students and others then followed.

The country will also be scoured for minor Abbey House Gardens’s, an interest of all generations, but infinitely more young-person-friendly that the cyclopic club circuit.

Also a catalogue of venues for non-lascivious discos (not Steamy-Specs's no-dress-code variety) is being investigated, with positive naturism-sensitive management planned.  Daryl and I are already looking towards out-of-season parties and dances.  We have a venue, in Brighton, but it will take time.   Then maybe eventually .....a YBN roadshow?  Why not!  

The missing persons? The dinosaur societies, the nudist clubs! They and the BN old school will be left to their self-locking devices. They have a very important, indispensible role to play…. but not in the new world.

And all of this will not be naked; it will, as I said above, be clothing-optional, a complete break with traditional BN prejudices. That allows naturists and their non-nudist friends to share our wonderful lifestyle together. Who knows; naturism may in time cease to exist as a word as we become gradually homogenised.   
Then one of our main visual barriers,the “-ism” of being naked, will be removed.

So, yes, naturism as we know it is an old person’s retreat. But….. soon it will be naturism as it is forgotten.  

The new wave is rolling on to our shores.  

Thank you to Amanda, Rakhee and the ZKK crew for such a positive, pro-active, unobtrusive atmosphere you created, which only enhanced the visitors' confidence in your impending programme and not least increased confidence in ourselves and our community.

Thanxxx2 Andrew for pulling the carriage for this whole affair and for representing our lifestyle in the only way it can do to sustain itself.  

Thanxxx, too, to the clothed visitors for being such a heads-up important part of the meeting of lifestyles  

.....and of course thanxxx2 Ian and Barbara for as ever providing the unbeatably perfect surroundings for the day and the concept.

Especially thanxxx2 Alex, Mollie, Daryl and all the younger guys, for the ideas, for being the power-source and the energy and for leaving me (us) with breath-defying optimism for the future of our lifestyle.

Oh.... and for being the beautiful new generation of UK naturism.  Luv'U'all!

All is cool in out here in Naturist Country. 

Will Golden reflects on British Naturism Day at Holkham Beach

Well my good friend, Joeberks (InTheBuff), came up with the wheels, punished overall by the whiplashes of a 240 mile round trip.

How off the beaten track is this venue? Well, Satnav's dulcet tones left us at Wells-next-the Sea, whence we had to take further directions (twice), arriving after a further round-trip at about 1:45pm. The powers that be kindly warned us of the ample hike from Lady Anne's Drive carpark, but failed to advise us that there was what seemed a further 2-mile walk from the BN beach campsite to the sea itself. It is the first nudist beach I have ever visited that is wider than it is long! Knowing that the Wash (just up the road) is notorious for it's 20-mile tides, one kept an ever-vigilant look at the long-distance tidal threat to the tentsite. Having never visited the Sahara, I have not seen so much sand.

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The usual suspects were there to keep us well fuelled with tea and to cajole us into beachvolley, unsuccessfully in my case (injured reserve; sprained ankle). The refreshment tent was kept busy by over a hundred supporters who largely simpered back to their solitary retreats in the dunes and their exposed windbreaks on the beach itself. Yes, the wind was reasonably strong, so much as to sow the grain of my quinoa lunch across the beach. Next year's maize harvest should be a bumper crop!

The wind had other victims. There had been a proliferation of greenfly in these parts over the months and the email message had obviously reached The beach was infested with millions of our colourful European invaders, with the xenophobic wind tossing them repetitively on their backs in a humorous flail of tiny legs. The main worry was not the inconsequential nips and bites, but how many made their involuntary way into our lunches.

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A changing weather forecast, no matter which website you counselled, turned out to be pessimistic. High cumuli teased us throughout but it was very simply a sunny day at the beach, despite the wind. Considering the North Sea is one of the Northern Hemiphere's coldest seas, rumoured to supply Tesco with ready frozen mackerel, the water was as a warm jacuzzi. Punctuated with the occasional splash of the youthful fry of naturism's future shoals, a keen crowd of BN human basking whales and porpoise dotted the shore line and was ill-advisedly coerced into a hearty photographic run from the sea. Frighteningly, this is due to adorn the pages of next year's Country and Coast magazine with local historic images harking back to naked Vikings, charging and hollering in a coastal invasion.

The peaceful image of the traditional British Naturism day therefore took on a temporary more boisterous hue that eventually saturated into the calm of a warm evening, tempting so many to stay beyond their scheduled departure.

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As the sunny day dozed gilded towards 6pm, I reluctantly folded away my tent and headed back with Joe via the concrete and tarmac confessional boxes to financial penance. The thought prevails of a place in the sun beyond maps, where even the most diligent creditor could never find his David Livingstone.

And yet, Holkham Beach remains enchantingly an escape TO rather than an escape FROM.  

archive entry: 30th August 2008
The Naturists at Shoreham Beach

world naked bike ride

The last weekend of August 2008 summed up Shoreham for me.
I thought I would record it for posterity!

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